Type: Vampire Romance…ish/Humor…funny as hell, actually
ARC provided by author
Reviewed by: 2shay
Nobody expects to get turned into a vampire, especially a guy like Bob.
Everybody hopes that if they somehow get transformed into a vampire, they will instantly become some kind of superhero vampire out of the movies. Bad news guys: not gonna happen. More likely than not, you’re gonna be one of the poor clueless bastards hanging out on Thursday nights with Bob in his vampire support group.
You may think you know what being a vampire is supposed to be like, but Bob is here to set you straight. He’s made it his personal mission to get answers about the reality of being a vampire. He’s been shot, stabbed, thrown off rooftops, survived bad coffee and endured crippling boredom – all in the name of answering the eternal question of what it means to be a vampire.
If you think you might be a vampire, this is the book for you.
Review by 2shay……….
This is different. It’s quirky, witty and a hell of a lot of fun. You might need to let go of all previous ideas of what a vampire is, all those notions from previous books and movies.
Poor Bob is a mess. He was a mess as a human, and he’s a bigger mess as a vampire. Bob, the human, was an addict. Addicted to what, you ask? Pretty much whatever he can get his hands on…drugs, booze, whatever. His first problem as a vampire is that pharmaceuticals and alcohol don’t work for him anymore…his vampire system just absorbs it! That’s pretty tough for an addict. His first big disappointment is that he can’t fly. Darn!
But Bob’s biggest problem is that he was turned accidentally. Oops…and all of the other vampires laugh and call him names! Or they think he should be killed. Mostly, they think he should be killed. The rules of turning a vampire are very strict, and Bob, because he’s a human mess, would never be eligible. None of the other vampires want to play vampire games with him, or teach him how to be a proper vampire. He only has a couple of human friends, and only one, Claude, who knows he’s a vampire! It’s a sucky situation.
This phrase, from early in the book, had me laughing out loud!
“My stupid and possibly traitorous penis twitched at the thought and I made a note to shoot it for attempted mutiny.”
Well, maybe it’s funnier when you’ve read the previous paragraph! But that’s just one of the many times I laughed at this outrageously funny story. I’m quite addicted myself, now! I am looking for my next fix in this off-the-wall comedic look at the life of Bob The Vampire! If you have a quirky sense of humor, you will love Bob, too. Pick up a copy and…